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The Dying Heart Solution

by AHNWM

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1.
The Nihilist Movement 06:59
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A masochistic metropolis is where you’ll find my withered body Tethered to my looming tombstone, radiant with exasperation Sulking in exile, I revert to primal subsistence Devoid of worry, waiting for the reaper to appear How did it come to be this way? I’ve asked myself the very question Swarming possibilities thwart my idyllic calm I, rest assured, will not feel solace until this growing darkness dies I can only hope it takes me A population Devoured by greed Extinguishing Any hope of ever pushing past the point of no return A population Engulfed by selfishness Welcomed wickedness Debauchery, depravity, decadence has swallowed us all And left our bones lodged in its teeth A world of pure opportunity takes its final breath as it falls behind the horizon Never to be seen again, its tales to be told by the fallen prophets, feeble and wizened Just out of sight, the new world approaches, cackling menacingly in its perpetual theft Leaving only ash in its wake, taking every soul irresolute, until there’s nothing left Wandering souls, heed this warning I see its power and evil intentions Lost minds, clueless lifeforms You’ll reach the day where you’ll wish there was nothing left The walking dead The living deceased The walking dead A population Devoured by greed Extinguishing Any hope of ever pushing past the point of no return A population Engulfed by selfishness Welcomed wickedness Debauchery, depravity, decadence has swallowed us all How did it come to be this way? I’ve asked myself the very question Swarming possibilities thwart my idyllic calm I, rest assured, will not feel solace until this growing darkness dies I can only hope it takes me.
2.
Hour of Penance 04:23
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Strangled by fear in the hour of penance Eminent infamy Submerged in silence, locked away Behind an icy gaze Who do you blame when you ache by your own hand? An unceasing battle of sanity and sacrifice Caught in the muck of morality Indignation protruding gradually A pattern of anger, relative stranger One can only be bled so dry Extinguish the flame, smother the shame And run from the smoke, it’s only bait Rescue and repair again I’m falling and grasping for something to keep me from sinking Drowning in self-loathing Where is the escape? How do I abandon myself? No remorse for shutting down Only regret for opening up For being destroyed Built to be broken by apathy spoken No remorse for shutting down Only regret for opening up For being destroyed Built to be broken by apathy spoken Rescue and repair again I’m falling and grasping for something to keep me from sinking Drowning in self-loathing Where is the escape? How do I abandon myself?
3.
Fate Speaker 04:40
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I held hope in my own arms And watched as it burned alive Trapped in godless times Separated by man-made lines We watch judgement lead to harm Letting the malice harvest We stand divided, and fall regardless In search of faith and none to harness We’re all slaves to the fate speaker The life taker The soul seeker The bringer of death A constant cycle of hurting and mending We’re only reading ‘til we reach the ending Characters in a mind-numbing story Nothing but filler between birth and glory We’re all characters, how fucking novel Perched in ivory towers or left to entreat and grovel The line is drawn between gifted and earned But everyone bleeds and everyone burns What’s the solution when it’s all a problem? A waning moment to escape the bottom Trapped in a story that’s already been written No wish to seek the inevitably given Perplexities befalling in every thought Hope dwindling, all leads to naught What’s the solution when it’s all a problem? A waning moment to escape the bottom We’re all slaves to the fate speaker The life taker The soul seeker The bringer of death.
4.
DBD 05:08
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I feel my own bones crushed by the weight of the world And my skin is swallowed by the soil Relentless torture, unending distress Suspended above a looming grave Chaos – I can no longer embrace the mess Roped into suffering by expectations Shot into failure by discontent Drowning in deadlines, a dose for a dead mind Abandon reality and come crashing back What an experience this is The encouraged maelstrom Starving for something to interject Anything to break the pattern of reticence Fuck this life You’ll only find me Dead by dawn If I make it that long Can you feel your bones being smashed to dust? Wake, evaluate the nonsensical Burdens bludgeoning my fragile existence (Fragile existence) Fragile existence Attenuate the rapid-fire trepidation Wake, evaluate the nonsensical Burdens bludgeoning my fragile existence (Fragile existence) Fragile existence Attenuate the rapid-fire trepidation Lost inside an overbearing world A deep darkness boils with intent of dismay Repose is a dream being muffled by screams When you can’t see the way out, you welcome the fire Starving for something to interject Anything to break the pattern of reticence Fuck this life You’ll only find me Dead by dawn If I make it that long Broken by pressure, delaying redaction Abandon the programmed societal faction Fuck this life Wasted lives Dragging along in apathy Fed only to be starved Fed only to be starved.
5.
Call of the Void 04:26
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Frozen in still life Restrained by the hope of a new day Pushed by the horrid voices speaking in serpent tongues Radiating negativity, pessimism peaks Toxic air filtered through weakening lungs The horror bleeds into dreams Visions of the crystal edge Glowing with guilt and ambiguity Dissociative - fading in and out A grim specter of a past life Waves of focus disrupting the fray A road of torment, a moment away Dissociative - fading in and out A grim specter of a past life Waves of focus disrupting the fray A road of torment, a moment away Fleeting sanity Evanescent mind Tempestuous skies Frozen in still life Restrained by the hope of a new day Pushed by the horrid voices speaking in serpent tongues Radiating negativity, pessimism peaks Toxic air filtered through weakening lungs I hear the call of the void I hear it screaming my name No hope and none left to be destroyed This is my pain I hear the call of the void I hear it screaming my name No hope and none left to be destroyed This is my shame This is mine I hold on to the rocky edge I gaze down at the impending end A final thought runs through my head I drop down to the drowning abyss I hear the call of the void I hear the horrible scream It was only a dream It was only a dream Frozen in still life.
6.
Cloudlift 01:37
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7.
Anti-Matter 05:01
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This is the price you pay I want to show you an empty world An impending sepulcher A pitch white realm of carrion for the vultures Lonely it seems, like the sun never rises Lonely it seems, when you live in disguises Fallen down to the abysmal bottom The inescapable absolute You pray for sleep and then you beg for death And it never stops lingering over you My life as a ghost is infinite Accelerate the imminent I thought I ended my own story Only trapping myself in perpetual purgatory Blacklist, how did it end up like this? An ever-enveloping fog A muffled cry for help, life only lived in hell So worried it would never be gone It pulled me under Now all I wish for is release My life as a ghost is infinite Accelerate the imminent I thought I ended my own story Only trapping myself in perpetual purgatory I’m the one that asked for this life A self-proclaimed poetic demise Now I speak to the suffering mainstay This is the price you pay My life as a ghost is infinite Accelerate the imminent I thought I ended my own story And now I'm trapped in purgatory.
8.
King Zero 05:02
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Deadwood falls upon the deaf ears The silence leads to your final judgement Reflections of a life poorly lived Analyzed by the prodigious king zero I am the reaper Scrutinizing the dead generation I am the void Bursting with emptiness I am the reaper, I am the void I am the pinnacle of solace destroyed The watcher of impervious catacombs The prince of your eternal flame-ridden home The dreaded time has come To walk the path you have chosen Welcome home I have finally arrived Relinquishing your deathwish, now you only wish to be alive Deadwood falls upon the deaf ears The silence leads to your final judgement Reflections of a life poorly lived Analyzed by king zero I have finally arrived Relinquishing your deathwish, now you only wish to be alive.
9.
Gray Noise 03:55
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The final chapter has begun When escape is futile, the only options are adapt or retract to Infancy and take a chance on rebirth Only then will you find your final worth Hold onto hope and rejuvenate Live your life to inspire Merely the body will disintegrate The soul shall live forever The sound is deafening and the words are so succinct Desperate for escape from a life extinct Why am I here when I’m not deserving? Living in silence, always reserving In reality, I’m only conserving The pain, the hate, an attempt to subserve thee But in the end I’m labeled wrong For doing what I need to do to continue on A serendipitous shred of solace pawned For the blame and scorn to remain until dawn And dusk won’t bring an end to this misery Why would I return to the world that discarded me? I’m at the end of my rope I’m tired of running with nowhere to go The heavenly skies are yours The remuneration is revocation of the life you have built The sound is deafening and the words are so succinct Desperate for escape from a life extinct The final words are spoken, showering with bliss Engulfed in a nimbus of fear of the life that never did exist Die a noble death by the hand of your master Or be a victim of the global disaster Die a noble death by the hand of your master Or be a victim of the global disaster.
10.
Purified 03:45
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Conjured in the emphatic silence The foundation of a broken man Nothing but silhouettes and socratic focus A tear in the timeline of social scans The other faces, clean and pristine An immaculate crown of conformity As I dwell in the muck and observe the abyss It occurs to me, am I the only one unclean? And as I struggle for release I'm held back by crippling fright An evil dance of dismay and delusion A false reassurance comes in the night The hourglass, on its final grains of sand Remains calm and calls for purity To save this rejected soul From drowning in obscurity Purify me I sit in silence while they all renounce their filth Spewing stories of their precious cleanliness Nothing to say, nothing to say Will it always be this way? Or will the day finally come where I'm purified? When I reach the end of this moral strife And join the mass of glass that glimmers clear as day When this lonely dirt is washed away Purify me.
11.
Circle of Stones 01:14
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12.
Anchors Away 04:37
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I recall a moment of fear When the words sliced through and became so clear Neglected, isolated The one forgotten, so newly jaded I recall a moment of loss Flashes of abandonment with nothing to emboss Self-imposed, deserted by choice The plea of a man with a dying voice Obstinate stranger I recognize your face It all seems so familiar But nothing more is commonplace I received every shred of the blame No acknowledgement, no riposte I’m sick of fixing the fray I’m turning my back on the fading ghost I can see your hollow core But I can’t find the answers anymore I just want to know what we did to deserve this To quiet the part of me that fights to preserve it All these years together as family Kept in the past as dead memories I feel so discarded, what have I done? What have you become? Obstinate stranger I recognize your face It all seems so familiar But nothing more is commonplace I received every shred of the blame No acknowledgement, no riposte I’m sick of fixing the fray I’m turning my back on the fading ghost Anchors away It’s time to let this ship sink So I can drown while I hear you speak I’m losing hope as I see all we’ve built Erased.
13.
False Hope // True Dejection 03:56
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Fortitude slipping with time Disintegrating to nothing but fragments lost The destiny of failure has succeeded in its goal Rotting in essence, one more line left uncrossed Your conviction, building and building “Just know nothing truly ends and only time can heal this pain” The oxygen fleets as I’m strangled by false hope Once again becoming the victim Calloused skin deluded endlessly Fiction built up in a mind of naivety A conscious sick of manipulation Harrowed to shatter redundantly Exposing the silent screams seeming impossible No secrets kept, no screams are held within Barren lungs suffocated by dejection Once again becoming the victim Calloused skin deluded endlessly Fiction built up in a mind of naivety Once again becoming the victim Calloused skin deluded endlessly Candor collapses as it all begins again You can’t kill a man who’s already dead inside Your certainty is crumbling Just know nobody changes and time doesn’t heal a thing.
14.
It Dies 04:33
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Rays of blinding lights cast down from the harrowed skies Illuminating the diluted masses Carcasses pile as the pyre grows higher And the ever-burning fire consuming all as time passes Eden burns in the distance The maniacal minds riot in fear Deluded souls scrounge everything they can As the day of reckoning draws near Eden burns in the distance The maniacal minds riot in fear Deluded souls scrounge everything they can As the day of reckoning draws near Goodbye to the cruelest earth Entombed in the forgotten ground Bereave, believe My lost soul longs to be found As the last Shred of hope Gazes on this earthly mess It dies a thousand deaths Before it takes its final breath Rays of blinding lights cast down from the harrowed skies Illuminating the diluted masses Carcasses pile as the pyre grows higher And the ever-burning fire consumes all Watching rivers of blood devour dying nature Stained red like our guilty hands Reverence from evil forces, they celebrate The fall of society, the collapse of man Approaching the end I'm captured and sentenced to death A final thought runs through my head And I scream with my final breath: Bury me with my head exposed so I can curse the world One last time Goodbye to the cruelest earth Entombed in the forgotten ground Bereave, believe My lost soul longs to be found As the last Shred of hope Gazes on this earthly mess It dies a thousand deaths Before it takes its final breath.
15.
Disappear 07:13
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I’ve searched every room and every space And still nowhere to be found I’ve begged for silence to listen close But I still don’t hear a sound I’ve only called your name every hour Hoping to see your face And each time more breaking than the last I had dreaded these lonely days For when I wake you’re no longer by my side And I’m not welcomed home I always knew this process would be agony But I never thought I’d feel so alone So if you hear this message wherever you are I want you to know you’re missed By everyone that you’ve touched in this life Your presence was a gift I only wish that you would have healed And continued on with me But I couldn’t do a single thing But set your weakened soul free I’ll hold onto the memories The love you always gave I’ll tell your stories until I’m silent And your pictures will be saved I’m in pieces here and can’t stop the tears I only long for you to return And rejoin our broken family But moving on is what I’m forced to learn So I say farewell for the final time As I remain by your side Your eyes will close as you fade away But you’ll never fade from my mind I know I’ll be alone in a matter of time And without you, it’s more than I can bear So before you depart, do me one last thing: Leave a light on, so it feels like someone’s there.

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released December 24, 2018

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AHNWM Fort Wayne, Indiana

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